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No blood for a boner

I came in today… I swiped my badge at the turn style.  As I walked thru, the gate stopped abruptly, I slammed my nose into the gate and cut the bridge of my nose with my glasses.  I was bleeding until I got to the bathroom.

7:33 am

Boney,

I did not “bull moose’ my way in.  I was half asleep & was suddenly woken by a shot to the face.  I lost a lot of blood & may not have enough for a boner.  You might be disappointed as I may only have enough blood for a semi-woody.  If I try to completely fill Moby, I may pass out!

8:11 am